A Lonesome Night (One-Shot)
by Feline Evolutionary Dead End
Summary: One last confession of love, then you drift away into the night. Reader-Insert x Mira. (This is a gag fic - NOT SERIOUS)


**This isn't something I would normally consider writing. But after a rough night of no sleep, this came to me as an inspiration. I decided that, in the spirit of fairness and to practice what I preach, that most tropes and ideas can be done right, I wanted to give this one a shot. I know I bashed Reader Inserts pretty badly in the past, but this is something I think I can do. Please forgive me if this is of poor quality, this is my first attempt at drafting it.**

**Summary: One last confession of love, then you drift away into the night. Reader-Insert x Mira.**

**Let's begin:**

* * *

Rumbling. The rumbling of the train has come to an end as it pulls into Magnolia station. You knew this was coming, the dread you feel in what you are about to do is palpable. With a deep sigh in preparation for pain, you attempt to right yourself and stand on your two legs. You almost fall and let out a scream as you apply pressure to your left leg, the searing, agonizing pain nearly brings you to your knees.

It was supposed to be nothing more than a simple mission. Some bandits were causing trouble for caravans and travelers. The client wanted them dealt with, dead or alive, it mattered not. You are the son of the mighty Ice Dragon Fotze, dealing with some, washed up useless savages should have proven to be trivial. Yet, in one moment, the job became a nightmare. One that nearly granted you the answer to the greatest mystery of them all.

You dropped your guard for just a second, and that was all it took for the masked bandit to swipe his dagger across the side of your leg. The dagger cut to the bone, what happened next you're not sure about. You acted on instinct for most of it. Someone passed by and found you, dragging you to a doctor for emergency treatment.

The blade was poisoned. It took days for you to be well enough to even sit up right, let alone walk. You still shouldn't be walking, but you're too stubborn for your own good. The pain is unbearable, you just want to drag yourself home and get some rest. But, you know that you can't. You'll need a few bottles of alcohol to numb the overwhelming pain, and maybe, as antiseptics if the wound became infected.

Switching between walking with a limp, and just dragging your potentially permanently damaged leg, you start to walk down the familiar paths and routes needed to get to the guild. You rented some apartments only three blocks up the road. The rent was just a fraction of what it would've been for properties on other streets in Magnolia.

The proximity to the guild made it so that property damage was unfortunately a real concern. That says nothing of the noise. God Damn, the noise of the guild. Sometimes you wonder why you still remain in Fairy Tail. You don't get along with many others, you just aren't that sociable. You like to keep to yourself, preferring peace and quiet over rambunctiousness and chaos. Your hearing is even more sensitive than Natsu's, so all the shouting and destruction brings you physical pain.

"Why the Hell am I still here?" You ask yourself as you continue to drag your lame leg behind you, inching ever closer to the guildhall, where you'll get some drinks before heading home. An image flashes in your mind.

Oh.

You know now why you remain.

Her.

She is the only reason you remain in the guild. It's because, even after all these years, you still have feelings for her. Her wonderful personality, her beautiful Olivine apparel, her feminine physique that was as though she were Anaru Fisutingu, The Goddess of Love, Beauty, and Fertility herself.

The pain in your leg can't begin to compare to the pain in your heart.

From the moment you were brought into the guild, you were smitten by her. You were often teased by others for your crush on her, but you didn't let it get to you. She rejected you of course. Not just that, she tore out your heart. She shattered your dreams and dashed them upon the ground with her calloued words of cruelty.

You look down and let your hair cover your eyes as you start to weep. All those years, and for what? You have done much, you've made a name for yourself, but you have never found Fotze. You may never find him. You have never won over the woman of your dreams. Though you are on friendlier terms after the incident two years ago, you know the feelings you have for her are not reciprocated.

They never will be.

Enough.

You've had enough of this... this, _farce_. You'd given it some thought for a while, but tonight you make your decision. One last time. You'll come out with your undying love one last time. If she accepts, you know that all the suffering and trials you have gone through were worth it to lead to this.

But if not? It was time to move on. You can't handle heartbreak again. You can't keep this facade up any longer.

A few minutes of tedious, pain-filled walking later, you arrive at the front steps of the guildhall. Taking a deep breath to steady your beating heart, you open the door and walk inside. You are amazed to find the place is not only empty, but the person of your dreams, at the bar counter.

You limp your way to the other side of the guildhall and swipe a bottle of Rum. You don't even bother paying for it. All the sleep they cost you? They can do without a bottle, consider it reparations for transgressions.

Taking a dreadful swallow, you almost vomit it back up immediately. The effects are almost immediate. This is the Gildarts stuff apparently, and you always were a lightweight. The pain is already numbing, and your anxiety is ebbing away enough.

Taking a deep breath, trying your damndest to stop your shaking hands, you finally work up the courage to speak. "H-h-hey, t-there."

_..._

"I... can, can we talk? Please... I, really need to speak to you. Please..."

...

Silence. You are met with discouraging, judging silence. You start to feel tears well up in your eyes, your heart rate accelerates once again. You know now that you have to do this now, or you'll never get another chance.

"**I LOVE YOU!" **You shout at her louder than you anticipated. You flush red with humiliation. Memories of the last time you tried this come flashing back. It was her birthday. You saved your money for weeks to buy her a gift. You don't even remember what it was anymore, but if she actually enjoyed or used it, you aren't sure. After that, you shouted that very phrase to her as everyone partied.

They all stared at you, Makarov, Natsu, Elfman, Gildarts, everyone. Many broke out into laughing and teasing. Mira taunted you for your out-loud confession. Your self-consciousness took over, and made you run off. It was a week before you showed your face in the guild again. Mira was clearly not amused with your confession, and she focused more time on tormenting you than she did most others.

Thinking back, that may have been when you started to isolate yourself from your peers. You became too embarrassed to show your face around as much, and soon you just became uninvolved with the others. Combine that with your secluded and reserved nature at heart, well...

No, this isn't important. You MUST focus and finish.

"I, I always loved you. You are the most beautiful, kindest, smartest woman I know. My heart skips a beat when I see you. You are the moon of my life, the night is cold and unforgiving without you in my life. So please... will you go out on a date with me?"

You pour your heart out to her, she seems moved by your confession. You feel the slightest glimmer of hope when _she_ gets in your way.

Mirajane.

She stands before your truest crush, the love of your life, the woman you are meant to be with. Rage wells up in your heart as you realize she probably intends to disrupt your confession. She taunted you after your confession all those years ago. You poured your heart out to your love, and she laughed in your face.

She approaches you and looks like she is about to say something, but you will not let her have another word, another chance to ruin another profession of your undying love. Your magic flares up significantly as you prepare to unleash one of your most powerful attacks. The strain of it may kill you, given the poor condition of your body, but you are beyond rational thinking. Mira is caught off guard as you initiate your most powerful attack:

**Ludacris Secret Art: Move _BITCH! _Get out Da Way! **With your fingers straightened out entirely, wrapping your arm around your back and using your legs, despite the pain, you drag your pimp hand across her face with such extreme force that it creates hurricane wind-speeds that blow the guild-hall apart. Mira is struck so hard by the sheer force of your Ludacris Marital Arts that it sends her flying into an entirely different causality.

The imprint of the signet ring that you wear will be a birth-mark for all descendants of her family tree for seven generations. Your Thug Life status is cemented, as every person in all of Magnolia jerks awake, leans back away from you, and shouts "_DAAAAAAAAYYYYUMMMNNNN!"_

Lisanna wakes up in a cold sweat, remembering the time Elfman 'killed' her into a plateau, feeling an eerie sense of deja vu.

After you have completed your attack, you cough up blood and collapse. Your leg wound was ripped open and is bleeding profusely. You feel deep sense of regret as you realize you will not survive the night.

You slowly drag yourself to your truest love. The woman you love more than anything in this world.

On an olivine green plate, sits four beautiful, flaky, light tan brown shapes, wrapped in light brown dressing.

She is known as: Corn Muffins.

"Cor...n, Mu-uffins..." You say weakly as you gaze upon your love.

"Please... tell me, tell me your answer."

...

No.

**NO.**

_**NO!**_

Even as you lie dying. Even after you pimp-handed Mirajane into an entirely different universe, your love rejects you. You realize now she relished in your suffering. She manipulated you from the start. Lead you to believe you could be together, fostered your love for her so she could enjoy the sight of you on your stomach, drawing your final breaths.

You let out an anguished wail, collapsing and sobbing into your arms. Corn Muffins rejected your advances. She tore out your heart, she lead you down this path to downfall. Not only were all those years a lie, she made sure that tonight, you would perish. Unloved, and heartbroken. You begin to feel cold, so very cold. You attempt to warm yourself in vain, but you cannot.

Soon, your vision begins to tunnel, and dim. You close your eyes and drift away. The final thing you see is the plate of corn muffins you loved for so long, staring at you with an expression of glee. You could only hope that the others would realize what kind of a monster Corn Muffins was ,and they would destroy her before it was too late.

You collapse and drift into the next world not long after.

May you find peace in the next life, for this life has granted you none.

* * *

**Okay, real talk. I wrote this in thirty minutes at 4 in the morning. I made myself laugh thinking about the Ludacris Secret Art part, and built this around that. **

**Did you really think I was going to do a reader-insert story? Na. Never.**

**Sorry you wasted your time on this, but consider it just punishment for reading reader-insert stories.**

**I am Corn Muffins, and I thank you for reading.**


End file.
